Apologia for a white man

 
I really had no choice in the matter, just as my black brother had no choice in being born.   Both my parents were white Anglo-Saxon protestants.  I was inculcated with their moral principles and work ethic from birth.  I was taught that all men are equal before their creator and in the eyes of the law.  I was taught the importance of the golden rule (do unto others as you would wish to be treated by them).  I was taught (with ample application of discipline) that I am responsible for my own actions and the consequences they incur.   I learned how precious it was to build a good reputation and to make my word my bond.  I have come to honor and have respect for our country’s flag and what it represents.  I have experienced failure and learned to persevere.  I have won victories with humility.  I admit I have not always been true to these precepts, but they are ideals I continually strive to attain.   I am human, with human faults and foibles.   I will ever and always be far from perfect.
I was an unwitting and am still a reluctant beneficiary of "white privilege."  I would not have wished it to be so, but i am not blind to the fact it exists.  I have never been stopped for "driving while black."  As a child born in 1941, I had access to excellent public schools.  I didn't have the deck stacked against me when I competed for employment in the early 1960's.
I know that most black Americans were raised with the same values and learned the same lessons that were taught to me.  Now, at this late juncture of my life, I am confronted with the realization that I am disliked and distrusted by many black Americans simply because I am white.  I am seen as their enemy.  I have been rebuffed when attempting to strike up conversations.  There have been instances of attempts at physical intimidation by complete strangers.   Racial harmony seems to be deteriorating rather than moderating.
Issues of slavery and segregation were legally and politically resolved years ago.  But individual opinions and responses to the resolution of those issues have endured.  The everyday task of living with what we have legislated is still a work in progress.  If only morality and human kindness could be legislated.  The Tao Te Ching tells us “When a great resentment is resolved, there is always a grudge left behind.”  How many generations have to pass before resentments and grudges are relinquished?
 It has become more and more difficult to be non-prejudicial when confronted with the realities of daily life.  The polarization of black/white attitudes and cultures is intensifying across the country.  I don’t understand the faces that look at me with prejudice because it breeds prejudice in me—it is an alien part of me and I don’t like me for it. 
 I don’t have all the answers, but in the times I have worked with blacks and participated in sports with blacks I came to develop lifelong friendships that I treasure.  If there is any salvatiion for us it will come incrementally with future generations.  Prejudice and intolerance are learned behaviors.  Our forebears have, for the most part been poor teachers, but I believe each successive generation from the time of emancipation has seen improvement. 
I have heard it said that “familiarity breeds contempt”, but for me familiarity breeds understanding and empathy.  And yes, there are some blacks I don’t particularly like, just like there are some whites I don’t care to spend time with.    I just wish we could make our initial encounters with each other an opportunity of acceptance rather than a self-fulfilling perpetuation of enmity.