Paducah, KY Aug 21, 2021

“THE JOURNEY IS THE REWARD”

(Tao Saying)

 It seems to me each generation finds life’s journey a bit easier than the one before.  I know my mother and father had it a lot tougher than I did growing up.  And I don’t mean to minimize the troubles that beset today’s youth.  Their problems, while much different from those I faced, are nevertheless real and maybe more challenging than those I was faced with.

 My journey began in St. Louis, Missouri.  The road has led me to marvel at wonders in the far corners of the world and to eke out subsistence living in remote locales in my homeland.  When I was very young, I slept on a corn shuck mattress and wore shoes with cardboard inserts to cover holes in the sole.  Now I live in a climate-controlled home with all the modern conveniences and want for nothing.  All my life I have had the love and affection of family and friends, even though there were times when I didn’t recognize nor appreciate those luxuries. Now past the eightieth anniversary of my birth, I have had a splendid ride and consider myself much more fortunate than most.  Now it is time to come to terms with the reality that I may soon embark on life’s last great adventure.

 Congestive heart failure.  As I type these words, I am still not sure I fully comprehend their meaning.  On the page the stark words look misshapen and ugly.  Prognosis—five years.  Those years may involve substances and procedures I don’t want to contemplate.  It will surely entail a lot of discomfort.  I have always said that I do not fear death—it is a prolonged and painful dying that terrifies me.  I have lived through that as a caregiver and don’t look forward to the prospect.

 Herodotus wrote: “Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men.”  That seems to me a nice way to go—just expire of weariness. 

 I pray that my journey may end with weariness and not with agony.  That is all any man can hope for.

 Dec. 2023 POSTSCRIPT: This was written in 2021, when I was in the unrelenting grip of COVID19.  Despite receiving the Phizer vaccines and booster, I had the disease and all of its attendant maladies—Heart problems, respiratory illness, loss of taste, appetite and smell. My body weight had shrunk from 165 to 103 pounds. I was in the early stages of organ failure.  I think my health care providers and most of those close to me had pretty much given me up.  In all honesty I had, too.  But, by the grace of God and with the indispensable and ungrudging help of my wife, Suzanne and especially my brother, Keith, I am almost fully restored to health.  I believe God heard our prayers, and by His grace I have been given a few more years.  I can more keenly appreciate them now.